Meet The Parents
by TwoPence
Summary: A meaningless vignette; straight up with a twist


MEET THE PARENTS

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing to do with The O.C.

Kirsten eyed herself speculatively in the full-length mirror for perhaps the tenth time. _Why am I making myself so crazy_? she thought. _It's not like this is our first date_. She and Sandy had been dating since their freshman year of college. However, tonight was the first time he was actually coming to her house to pick her up for a "real-life, chat with the parents" kind of date. _Oh, god_, she thought. _Please don't let my dad shoot him or beat him up or anything. _

A soft knock sounded on her bedroom door and Kirsten's mother entered with a smile on her lovely features. "So, how's it going? I hope you're not getting nervous. By the way, Sweetie, you have on two different shoes."

"Oh, shit! – Whoops, sorry, Mom," Kirsten said, looking down to see a black sandal on her left foot and a navy blue pump on her right. "I don't know why I'm such a basket case. It's not like it's our first date or anything."

"Ahh, but it's the first "official" one, right? And that's always scary. Especially when your father's sitting in the living room cleaning his buck knife."

"Mom!" Kirsten yelped before noticing that familiar teasing glint in her mother's eye. "God, don't even joke about that. You know how Dad can get."

"Oh, I definitely know how your father can get. Honey, he just loves you so much and he tends to get a bit overprotective where you're concerned. And don't forget, your father wasn't always so "ancient" and he remembers what it feels like to be a young man in love. In fact, I like to think that he still is one himself."

"Okay, Mom, that's just…yuck!"

"Come on, Sweetie, let's go downstairs before your dad starts pacing again. I swear that man's going to wear a hole in my new rug." Arm in arm they headed off to face the man they both adored.

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"Okay, Dad. Sandy should be here any second, so could you please just sit down and relax? You're starting to get that scary look again."

"Oh, I'm just getting warmed up, Kirsten," he said gruffly, though he tempered the gruffness with a soft half-smile. With a pang, he realized that she looked just like her mother did at that age. Same beautiful long hair, same perfect complexion, same pretty figure. Kirsten had his cool blue eyes and reserved demeanor, however. Thank goodness, he thought to himself. Although he loved his wife for her warm heart, independent spirit, and sensuous nature, he knew what kind of mischief those attributes could cause. The result of that mischievous spirit was now standing right in front of him, looking lovelier than any young woman had a right to.

"Don't you think you're too young to be dating anyone seriously, Kirsten?"

"Dad, I'm a sophomore in college _and_ I'm a year older than Sandy, remember? Maybe you should be warning him about me."

A tense silence filled the room and she saw her dad start to do that clenching thing with his jaw again. "Gee, kidding, Dad."

"Okay, so, you've got your cell phone?"

"Yeah, Dad."

"And your house keys?"

"Yeah, Dad."

"Oh, here's some money for a cab, just in case you need to come home early or something."

"Thanks, Dad, but I think I'll be okay."

"Well, just in case, alright?"

The doorbell sounded causing Kirsten to jump nervously. As her dad headed toward the door, her mother chimed in to ask, "Oh, Sweetie, did you remember to put some of those condoms in your purse?"

"Oh, god, Mom. That is _so_ not funny! Quit laughing. Dad, she's kidding. Really! Mom, please tell him that you're kidding. Oh, god, why did I ever agree to this?" Kirsten wailed.

"Oh, honey, I'm just joking."

Kirsten sent a pleading look in her mother's direction as her father's face clouded up and he muttered, "Okay, I'm not really seeing the humor here."

"Oh, just get the door, you grouchy old bear. I can't help it, it's just so much fun to see you now. Think about what all those dads were going through when you were running around with their daughters back in the day."

"I refuse to discuss this, I have to go get the door. And by the way, honey, you've gotten awfully glib."

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Sandy waited nervously on the doorstep of the large Spanish-style home, trying desperately to pat his dark curls down. _This damn humidity is wreaking havoc on the ole Jew-fro_, he thought. _Okay, Kirsten's dad is a nice guy; Kirsten's dad is a nice guy. He's an upstanding member of the community who would not want to risk a lifetime of imprisonment just to kill me. _ Okay, yeah, I'm still not buying it, Sandy thought with a twinge of panic. He knew for a fact that Kirsten's dad was the kind of guy who would just as soon kick your ass as look at you. All right, suck it up, Cohen, be a man. Thinking back to the previous weekend, his and Kirsten's last at college before the long summer break, he broke into a wide grin. Oh, I'm definitely a man now, he thought. And not just an "after your Bar Mitzvah" man but a 'Man-Man'. With newfound confidence, Alexander "Sandy" Cohen braced himself as the door opened. "Hi, Uncle Ryan. I'm here to pick up Kirsten."

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"Ryan, she'll be okay. Sandy's a great kid. You know that. You're his godfather, for goodness sake! Seth and Summer have raised a fine son so quit worrying and let's enjoy some alone time. Ohh, I know! We could go out to the garage and make out in the back seat of the car, just like when _we_ were young.

"Dammit, Theresa, you're not helping." _Pause._ "Well, come on, woman. I'll race ya!"

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Grabbing Sandy by the hand and fairly running down the driveway to his car, Kirsten Atwood felt that she had never been happier than she felt right at this moment, with this boy. _Alexander Cohen, I'm going to marry you!_ she thought giddily to herself.

The End.


End file.
